The Space Between
In each connection with another person there are three “energies.” Person A, Person B, and the energy created between them.
You know who you are. You are aware of the energy you put out into the world. —Or maybe you’re unsure and this is a place of self-reflection?
The other person may have equal awareness (or unawareness) about themselves.
But the energy you create together? That’s a magic all it’s own…
So the question is… Who are you showing up as in the world? What energy are you bringing to your relationships - romantic, friendships, neighbors, coworkers, people you pass on the street? What do others see in you?
Some of us have to work especially hard to be seen in a way that reflects who we are and what we feel. Personality-wise, I’m a shy introvert. And when I allow that to be how I present myself in new surroundings… Well, people can think I’m stuck up. I’m quiet, watchful, listening, and determining where my presence and words can make the most impact. But from a distance, I seem to be absorbed in myself, judging those around me, and unwilling to engage.
Ugh! For those that know my heart - they know that couldn’t be farther from the truth!
Which means I have to constantly be evaluating how I show up in certain settings. What energy am I bringing to new encounters? To old friends? To the cashier or my neighbor?
Have you ever noticed when you walk through the world in a daze, a grumpy mood, or an overwhelmed and exhausted state of mind - that your eye contact is less frequent? your smile is hidden? your eyes barely look at the people in front of you? We become unaware of what is happening with others, because we are so turned inward on our own despondency?
Or have you noticed the days when you make eye contact with everyone you meet? Smile, say “hi!” Those days when you can’t wait to make conversation and ask people how they are? We’re so light and happy that we crave connection and engagement - and we’re showing up differently to those encounters!
In both those scenarios, the energy between you and the other person changes drastically! Joy, gratitude and possibility! Or… Just getting through the day, passing through, no need to connect. And of course, there’s plenty of days where we’re somewhere in between….
But here’s the thing: You have a CHOICE. Each day, as we wake up and get ready to face the world - we have a moment to choose who we want to be and how we want to show up.
Before we leave our bedroom, we can decide to be thankful for our spouse and determined to give them a small gesture of kindness. We can decide we’re going to be present with our kids and give hugs first thing (before correcting whatever they’re doing that drives us batty!). We can decide to be open-minded to the drama at work and hear both sides of the story, committed to finding a solution to the problem - allowing others to be seen and heard. We can decide to look people in the eyes, listen to their words, and see them as co-creators in this life of ours.
My energy + Your energy = A new energy.
It’s easy to believe that life happens to us, that people treat us however they want to treat us… But when we focus on the space between, on co-creating this life we share - that opens all kinds of new possibilities for joy and connection everyday!
