What Is Positive Communication? A Guide to Asking For What You Want/Need - and Getting It.
The goal of every overwhelmed woman is to manage her time and energy in a way that decreases stress and allows for more recharging, more rest, and more fulfillment in her days... But with many women, it can be hard to ask for help in order to make time in your day for the things - and people - that bring you joy.
Oftentimes, it comes down to not wanting to be a burden… or not wanting to seem selfish. Even the most successful women sometimes get caught in the loop of people-pleasing and find it hard to ask for what they need or want. And when others don’t know… our needs and wants just keep getting put on the back burner again and again.
Maybe you’ve been doing your best to “push through” the busy days and wondering when things will let up. Counting on the fact that the project at work will come to an end; the kids will get older; the holidays will be over soon - etc etc. You keep telling yourself “this is just a stage” and there will be time for me later…
If this goes on long enough, it can make you start to feel hopeless… and maybe even a little resentful.
Today, you’re in luck! I’m going to share a secret that will help you ask for what you want and need by creating a plan - and doing so with grace and appreciation. You’ll be able to finally include those you love and respect in creating your best life without feeling like a burden or as if you’re just being selfish. Can you imagine?!
What Is my “Ask and You Shall Receive” Method?
This Positive Communication tool aims to:
Help you plan the conversation ahead of time.
Come to the conversation with an open mind and heart.
Be direct, with the aim of making sure you’re on the same team.
Help you feel confident is asking - and receiving - what you want.
The beauty of this method of positive communication is that it works with partners, kids, co-workers, etc - it’s respectful and kind both to the other person AND to you.
Literally anyone could benefit from learning this method. By thinking through a conversation beforehand, you’re building up your courage and confidence; acknowledging their support; and making sure that your request benefits you both in a positive way. You’re thinking of them AND you - making sure they are seen, heard, and understood as well. What could be less selfish than that?!
Why Is Positive Communication so important?
Positive communication is important for several reasons:
Builds Strong Relationships: Positive communication helps build strong and healthy relationships with others. When people communicate positively, they are more likely to feel valued and respected, which fosters trust, empathy, and understanding.
Promotes Good Health: Positive communication can reduce stress and promote good health. When people communicate positively, they are more likely to feel relaxed, happy, and content, which can have a positive impact on their physical and mental well-being.
Enhances Collaboration: Positive communication promotes collaboration and teamwork. When people communicate positively, they are more likely to be open to different perspectives and ideas, which can lead to more creative and effective solutions.
Increases Productivity: Positive communication can increase productivity and job satisfaction. When people communicate positively, they are more likely to feel motivated, engaged, and committed to their work, which can lead to better performance and outcomes.
Resolves Conflicts: Positive communication can help resolve conflicts and prevent misunderstandings. When people communicate positively, they are more likely to listen to each other's perspectives and find common ground, which can lead to mutually beneficial solutions.
Overall, positive communication can have a significant impact on personal and professional success, as well as on overall happiness and well-being.
Also (and maybe best of all) learning this skill can give you the tool to ask for support - so that you have more time and energy to create space in your day for YOU.
That means you won’t have to keep “pushing through” until life eases up and your circumstances change in order to take care of your health, spend time on your passions, laugh with your kids or friends, or gosh - even just take breaks for fresh air, reading, or taking a warm bath.
When you have the skills to confidently ask for help - and include others in your journey to create your best life - not only does your day-to-day life become more meaningful and fulfilling… But it’s also a win for those around you! When your cup is filled, you can easily serve those you love.
Asking for what you want and need is not selfish. You’re not being a burden.
You’re lightening the load so that you can be more present, more energetic, and more joy-filled as you share your life with others.
So, to get started with Positive Communication:
Step #1: Determine what you need or want - be specific!
Step #2: Think about the other person for a moment. What do you know about their current situation? What do you appreciate about them?
Step #3: How will your request benefit the other person?
Step #4: What would it mean to you if they supported you in this way?
Step #5: Determine the time to have the conversation. If possible, choose a time and place where you can both be relaxed and open to a discussion. The beauty of this type of conversation is that it allows the other person to open up and ask for support as well.
Finally, celebrate having the courage to ask for what you want. It can be hard work being vulnerable and uncertain. It can be disorienting putting aside those feelings of selfishness and being a burden. It can even feel “presumptive” to think the other person is interested in your well-being and happiness… But guess what? More often than not, people are glad you asked.
We all have a natural desire to help those we love and respect.
So when you ask and the other person responds with “Of course! I’m glad you asked!” - Celebrate!
Start Using Positive Communication Today
I hope this guide on asking for what you want and need has been helpful. If you take anything away from this post, remember that practice makes perfect. This is a skill to be learned and with the proper method you’ll be rocking it in no time!
The best way to start practicing is by downloading my “Ask And You Shall Receive” Conversation Planning Tool and putting it to use!
So, what do you say? Are you ready to give it a go?
It’s time, my friend, to stop putting your wants and needs on hold until this stage passes… It’s time to ask for support so you can create a life of energized joy and a sense of fulfillment and possibility! You deserve it - not later… but NOW!
