Thoughts on Gratitude
This week, in the United States, is our national day of Thanksgiving. A holiday where we gather around the table for a feast of seasonal foods, navigate the joy of family dynamics, and share what we are grateful for. And as I was chatting with friends and fellow coaches last week, some interesting thoughts came up about being “thankful.”
In my family, we often go around the dinner table and simply share what we’re thankful for that day - with two small kids it can be anything! Their favorite stuffy, an extra snack, Daddy’s snuggles, or a playdate with a friend. For Mommy and Daddy, we try to focus on non-material things simply to be a role model for the kids. (But in my own gratitude journal, I often write down things like my electric blanket, my car that still works, new boots, or my air fryer!) All of these - both material and non-material are things we’ve worked hard for and feel lucky to have and experience.
A conversation last week, though, posed thankfulness as something that may be seen as more complicated than that… For some, when they say they are thankful for something - they automatically feel a tinge of guilt, comparing themselves to those who don’t have those things. For some, they feel a sense of unworthiness creep in. Thankfulness can feel like a comparison game and therefore, not have the warm fuzzy feelings that is intended.
As we discussed these different ways of viewing gratitude, an idea emerged. What if the question became “What do I appreciate? Or what have I appreciated today, this week, this year?” That felt like a much more powerful question! The answers go a little deeper, making us think a little more - connecting to what the blessing actually is… I started trying it out on myself. I appreciate:
My electric blanket because it covers me with warmth as I work in my office, allowing me to concentrate longer and pursue my passion.
That my car still works after 16 years, because it allows us to get to where we need to go without more car payments, easing stress during this complicated year.
My new fuzzy warm boots, because my feet are often freezing cold and these keep them warm and cozy; and they allow me to run the dog out quick without stopping what I’m doing to go find my shoes.
My air fryer, because it simplifies our meals to be quick and healthy on busy nights!
By naming what I appreciate it becomes more about how the item or experience makes my life better - which has nothing to do with comparing to others. It’s more personal. More meaningful. I’m kind of loving this new re-framing of Gratitude. I even asked my kids to give it a try… They appreciate:
Their favorite stuffy, because it feels like a friend is always with them.
An extra snack, because it makes them less hungry (and cranky - yes, my son said this).
Daddy snuggles, because he’s warm and they feel his love.
A playdate with a friend, because it’s fun to play with others who like the same things you do.
If little kids can do this - so can we, right?
So my challenge to you this week, as you go around the Thanksgiving table sharing all the things your grateful for - I invite you to ask everyone to elaborate on their sharing to say why they appreciate that particular item… It could lead to some beautiful conversations!
