Frustration
The kids can’t find their shoes. The dog ate a sock. Bills are waiting to be paid. I’m supposed to meet a friend for lunch today - but am having one of those “ugh… I have nothing to wear” kinda days. I forgot to grocery shop yesterday, so we’ll be having breakfast for dinner AGAIN. The websites I need for work are down. It’s snowy and icy - still.
I want to scream!
Ever have a day - or week - like that? Yeah, me too.
Frustration creeps up, doesn’t it? Everything is going along great… Til one thing falls out of line.
Then another. And another. Until you feel like you can’t do anything right and all the tasks are piling up and you just want to crawl back in bed and forget it. Sound familiar?
So… the question is: What do we do when the world is making us feel like we’re losing it?
Truth be told: I’m having one of those weeks. I have some work I’ve been so excited to put together and launch, but all the tech is muddled with glitches and starts and stops. I finally booked a call with my business coach this morning to help me get my mind right - and this is what he said:
“Process is good. It’s fun to love a good process. AND… We can hate this moment in the process while things work themselves out.”
Both/And. You’ve heard me mention that before, right?
I love mornings with my kids AND it makes me insane when their shoes aren’t where they're supposed to be. I love my crazy fun pup AND if he eats one more sock I’m going to lose my God-forsaken mind. I love the life we’ve created AND the piling up bills feel like an assault after a rough year. I love my friends and getting time with them AND I kinda hate leaving the house these days. Ha!
For some reason, our primal critter brains (whose job it is to protect us from the world) like to live in the insanity. If we left it up to those voices that whisper all the negative thoughts each day - we’d be very safe, but would never DO anything. On the other hand, when we tell those critter brain voices what’s real - that it can be both/and and we’ll be still be safe - it gives us the space to look around, recognize that the frustration is temporary, and make a plan for moving forward.
Sometimes I’m really good at this along the way - and sometimes I wait till things have stacked up against me (like this morning). Sometimes I’m able to recognize the both/and on my own - and sometimes it takes a friend or coach to show me what’s right in front of me.
The trick is to notice when the frustration is settling in. For me, it’s noticing the physical symptoms that accompany it. Not falling asleep quickly or waking up in the night, wide awake, thinking about all the things. Craving sugary snacks that make me feel “better” for the brief moment the sugar rushes through my body. Endlessly scrolling online, so I don’t have to think or feel for a few moments. Snapping at my husband or kids for something silly and small.
These are my wake-up calls. Time to ask what I’m really frustrated about - and what I’m not recognizing. What does that critter brain voice need to know to let go?
Today, I’ll be telling that voice to go take a nap. I have tech stuff to figure out - one problem at a time, while asking for help and assistance. I can decide it’s a love/hate relationship and keep going, bringing others in for support and attitude adjustments. (Yep, even a Coach needs an occasional attitude adjustment!)
I hope your day is filled with both/ands - because in truth, it means you’re truly living! Sending you love today, my friend!
