“Just get a little time to yourself. You’ll feel so much better!”

“Just get out of bed an hour earlier - time to start your day renewed and focused!”

“Just plan 30 minutes into your schedule for the day. It’s as simple as that!”

Just… Just… Just…

As a mom of two kids, a crazy dog, supportive wife of a husband that works full time and wants to still have hobbies and friends, a student, and a business owner - I can attest that “just do this and your life will be perfect” is a load of… Well, it isn’t that simple.

I was asked recently “What does a typical day for you look like?” And I laughed. As much as I love routine and schedules, tidy planners and predictability - let’s face it. Each day as a mom is different.

We’re pulled in a million different directions, always adding to the to-do list, and doing our best to not let any balls drop. So, for me, there isn’t a “typical day in the life.”

We like to talk about “balance” - that we all want balance between mom-ing, wife-ing, working, and our health, our sanity, and having a little fun once in awhile. But here’s the thing - I don’t think “balance” is what we should be striving for. Not everything needs the same amount of time and effort every day. I’ve replaced the idea of balance in my own life with “riding the wave.” My goal is to know my values, my priorities, and my needs and be able to still honor those as life ebbs and flows with other needs.

Last week, I had a great week of productive work during the day and structured family time in the evenings. We got things done, made it to all our activities on time and in good moods, and enjoyed family dinners and and downtime in the evening. Success!

This week is spring break. Both kids home, dad working, me trying my best to be productive while managing “I’m bored” and “can I have my upteenth snack for the day?” We aren’t going on an elaborate vacation - so I get to be their fun this week (insert eye roll here).

But guess what? My top value and priority in life is to enjoy my time with my kids. They will only be this age once and by golly, I want to be here for it! So… My days this week are centered around my need and my kids’ needs to spend time together.

I wake up and snuggle on the couch with the kids while we all start the day slowly… We have breakfast together and talk about our plans for the day. I retreat to my office for the morning while they draw, read, watch movies, and (gasp!) play on their tablets for a bit. We reconvene for lunch and decide on our activity for the afternoon (today we’ll be hitting up the library for books to read over break). Daddy will be home in time to share the duty of getting the kids to their afternoon activities and we’ll meet back at home for dinner. I’m sure this evening will be spent playing games or watching the next Marvel movie with a giant bowl of popcorn. And once the kids are in bed? My husband and I will get to talk about our days, make sure we’re prepared for tomorrow, and enjoy a little time together before I head upstairs to read and journal before falling asleep.

That’s a typical day this week. It won’t be perfect - there will be frustrations and changes in the plans. I will feel a little anxious, wanting to work. The kids will get stir crazy because they miss the structure of school.

But we ebb and flow. My son likes to say he’s “rolling with it.”

In a week like this, the elusive “me time” isn’t getting up earlier or escaping to a yoga class… It’s drinking my coffee while it’s still hot and taking three minutes to focus on the lyrics of the song playing on our speakers. It’s consulting my planner and making sure I know the schedule for the day - and writing down 5 things I’m grateful for at this specific moment. It’s taking an extra 5 minutes to get ready this morning and listening the motivational app on my phone. It’s reading for 15 minutes before bed.

Life as a working mom is no easy feat. Don’t add the pressure of “balance” and hours of “me time” on top of all the responsibilities that are already pulling you in all directions.

But do one thing for me today: Write down your top three values/priorities for your life.

Ask yourself if someone followed you around this week - would they see you honoring those values/priorities everyday? And if so, how?

If not… Might be time to evaluate what needs to be tweaked so that you can ride the wave and honor what you love. (That’s what coaching is all about! If this speaks to you - schedule a chat with me today and let’s get you moving towards a life you’ll love!)

Sending you love, today, my friends. You’ve got this!