Mama Bear
My Mama Bear shackles are up. One of my cubs has been having some trouble at school and this quiet, introverted mama is ready to roar.
It’s funny, before I had kids when things would get messy in life or things were going on around me that I didn’t agree with or approve of - it was easy to mind my own business, take responsibility for my part in the situation, and choose to take a different route…. It didn’t take much time or effort - I just chose differently and moved on.
But when things are happening in your kid’s life?! Whoa, Buddy! Take cover because Mama Bear is on her way!
Suddenly my time is spent advocating for my kid, talking to teachers and principals, researching therapists and staying on hold for endless minutes til they finally tell me it will be months til we can get an appointment. My time is spent in conversations with my child - hearing their side and coming up with strategies to solve the problem and conversations with my husband getting on the same page with a plan… My time is spent worrying and wondering what I could be doing differently to support, nurture, and yes - offer consequences and rewards for behavior. And, whether we like it or not, as a mom, time is spent with all the feelings - wondering if I’m letting my beautiful kid down.
Because that’s what’s real, right? We can have all the time management strategies in the world - routines, schedules, habits, and even help… Yet, when there is a crisis of some kind (big or small) - everything gets thrown off. Our critter voices in our head start reeling and sending us into that emotional space of feeling like a failure, like we’re letting everyone down, like we’ll never get it right.
Even coaches feel this.
I said it out loud to my husband yesterday - to which he promptly told me that was ridiculous. (He’s a good one!)
And he’s right. None of those negative things are true. My time and routines are thrown off because I’m giving so much of myself to helping my kid get back on track so they can have the beautiful life they deserve. That’s just being a Mom.
So, if you’re struggling this week because you’re doing your best to help those you love; if you’re exhausted because you’re worrying about your kids; if you’re feeling overwhelmed because of… life - you’re not alone. You’re human.
Tell those “not good enough” voices in your head to take a hike. Practice a little self care. Talk to a partner, a friend, a coach. And know that you are, indeed, enough. Your love is big enough for all of it. Decide on one action you’re going to do today to help the situation. And believe that things will get better.
They always do… Eventually.
I’ll be doing these steps with you.
Sending you love, today, my friend!